16. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
17. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
18. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
19. Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
20. This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
21. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
22. My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
23. I’ve found a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters.
It’s shift work.
24. I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.
25. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto Zoo.
26. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing?
27. Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.
28. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?
Aye matey.
29. Communism jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.
30. What do the movies Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.