The modern credo is “pictures or it didn’t happen,” but these days, it seems there are pix of pretty much everything that happens, even things that maybe would be better not shared. For one unfortunate German bodybuilder, an image of his penis, which became stuck in a 5 ½ pound weight disk at a gym, requiring firefighters to remove it, has now been seen ‘round the world, albeit blurred out in the most sensitive areas.
Administrators at the Rhineland-Palatinate hospital in Germany, where the unidentified man was treated, are now investigating how the images, which were supposed to be used for internal documentation only, got leaked online. Nobody but the man himself knows exactly how his penis came to be stuck in this way, although the obvious jokes are no doubt abounding across the internet. But it took paramedics three hours using highly specialized equipment designed to cut metal, but not skin, to free his swollen and purple member, and we can only imagine how terrified he must have been seeing a vibrating saw come at him “down there.”
We’ll pause for more vibrator jokes, but in truth, the situation could have turned pretty ugly. With his blood flow blocked by the heavy metal plate, he could have experienced bursting blood vessels, which in turn could lead to necrosis, or cell and tissue damage, caused by lack of oxygen to the skin.
His penis, in that instance, might have even required – gasp – amputation. And believe it or not, this isn’t the first time a man has played with fire when it came to over-titillating his male member. Just last year, a gentleman who decided to try getting his rocks off with a plastic bottle found his nether regions lodged in it for a full four days, presumably too embarrassed to seek medical assistance any sooner.
In that instance, by the time he did reach out, his penis had already started to reach necrosis, and turn black. It’s unclear if he actually had to undergo amputation, but for certain, he probably wasn’t starring in any pornos after that.
Along with the blurred close up of the unfortunate bodybuilder’s penis turning purple inside the weight plate, a subsequent one taken by paramedics of the carefully shattered disc also found its way online. Both images, to no one’s surprise, have gone totally viral.
An official statement from the fire department whose experts helped free the man’s penis said, “… the dumbbell weight could be removed after three hours with the help of a grinder, a vibration saw, and a hydraulic rescue device,” adding that the greatest delicacy was required by the crew to remove the disc without further injuring the man’s member.
As for the weightlifter’s dignity, we are guessing that may never recover.
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