‘Who’s The Man in the Relationship?’ LGBT community reveal shocking homophobic remarks they’ve received

A new photo series explores the shocking discrimination many members of the LGBT community have to face on a day-to-day basis.

Dr Kevin Nadal, 35, a psychology professor at the City University of New York, asked volunteers to pose with signs displaying the homophobic comments they’ve received time and time again.

One woman couldn’t help but grin, as she held up her placard reading: ‘Have you ever had REAL sex?’ While a less enthused lady told how she’s always asked: ‘Who’s the man in the relationship?’

photo1lgbtNot what you want to hear: A new photo series explores the shocking discrimination many members of the LGBT community have to face on a day-to-day basis

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Another female participant recalled how she was once told ‘I have a cousin like you’ when she revealed her sexuality to someone.

Noting the absurdity of the remark, she pointedly responded: ‘How?’

When it came to the men, one told how he often gets mistaken for a woman because of his androgynous looks and shoulder-length hair.

photo2lbgtHurtful: Dr Kevin Nadal, a psychology professor at the City University of New York, asked volunteers to pose with signs displaying the prejudice comments they’d heard time and time again

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photo3lbgtMan or a woman? This participant revealed how their androgynous look often confuses people

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And another wrote on his sign that he’s been picked out on numerous occasions for not wearing dresses.

Several others mentioned how straight men often automatically assume that anyone gay will pounce on them.

In a bid to combat the stereotype, one gay man underscored in his message: ‘Just because I like men, doesn’t mean I “like” all men. I ACTUALLY have a type and chances are . . . IT’S NOT YOU!’

Dr Nadal, who is openly gay himself, refers to these encounters as acts of ‘microaggression.’

photo4lbgtAble to relate: Dr Nadal, who is openly gay himself, refers to these discriminatory encounters as acts of ‘microaggression’
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photo5lbgt‘We need to teach more people about microaggressions, in order to educate people about how hurtful microaggressions are and how they negatively affect people’s lives,’ he said

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Speaking to BuzzFeed about what inspired his LGBT-focused picture project, he said: ‘I started this project because I wanted the concept of microaggressions to be discussed in more meaningful ways and to be made available to all kinds of audiences.

‘It’s a concept that is heavily discussed in academic circles, social service organizations, and among college students. However, people in general society may not be aware of the term at all.

‘We need to teach more people about microaggressions, in order to educate people about how hurtful microaggressions are and how they negatively affect people’s lives. 

‘We need to people to be mindful of their language and the little things they do and say that harm people’s lives.’

photo6lgbtThoughtless words: In his research on LGBT microaggressions, Dr Nadal found that they had a significant impact on people’s lives
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photo7lbgtLong-term effects: While some of these experiences may seem brief and harmless, many studies have found that microaggression can trigger symptoms of depression and psychological distress

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photo8lbgtGrowing pains: In a first person piece for the American Psychological Association Dr Nadal tells how he was ridiculed at high school ‘almost everyday’ about his sexuality

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photo9lbgtConstantly questioned: This young woman says her family are often on her case

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In his research on LGBT microaggressions, Dr Nadal found that they had a significant impact on people’s lives.

While some of these experiences may seem brief and harmless, many studies have found that microaggression can trigger symptoms of depression, psychological distress, and even physical health issues.In a first person piece for the American Psychological Association Dr Nadal tells how he was ridiculed at high school ‘almost everyday’ about his sexuality.

‘When I walked by them in the halls, they called me a “faggot” or screamed my name in a flamboyant tone. 

photo10lgbtGood reason to stop: Researchers from Columbia University recently found that being homophobic cuts 2.5 years off your life

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photo111lgbtBad for the soul: They attribute the increased mortality rate to higher stress and anger levels that ‘harboring prejudice produces’

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photo12lgbtChanging times: Entering the English language in the 16th century, queer originally meant strange, odd, peculiar, or eccentric – today it is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities that are not heterosexual

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photo13lgbtStill not fully accepting: This man shows that his family haven’t quite come terms with his sexuality

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‘I learned to walk by without showing any reaction; I could not let them know that it bothered me, or else I would be proving to them that I was indeed gay.

‘I didn’t tell anyone about the bullying (not my parents, teachers, or anyone) because admitting that I was being teased for being gay would mean that I was admitting to being gay.  I had never felt so alone in my life.’In college, Dr Nadal’s situation improved but it took him years before he finally came out.‘In retrospect, I had a very difficult time accepting my gay identity, because of the microaggressions that I experienced throughout my life.’ 
photo14lgbtThe male volunteer shows that it’s often a struggle to get his straight friends to go to a gay bar because the automatically assume that they’ll be approached

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photo15lgbtMaking a change: Many commentators have praised the photo project for helping to combat LGBT discrimination

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photo16lgbtReally? This man reveals something that he often hears his female pals say

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photo17lgbtDr. Nadal concludes: ‘Let’s teach our kids to love people, instead of hating them. Let’s do this together’

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He hopes his work will help ease the situation for others.

Asked how he thinks the problem of LGBT discrimination can be solved, he replied: ‘Well, first of all, let’s get everyone to stop saying things like “That’s so gay!” or “That’s so queer!”

‘If something is weird, say it’s “weird”! Why do you have to bring LGBTQ people into it? Correct others when they use homophobic/ transphobic language or endorse LGBTQ stereotypes.

‘Let’s teach our kids to love people, instead of hating them. We have the power to transform this next generation of young people to be open-minded and awesome. Let’s do this together.’

Source: Mail Online

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